Which type of dog is good with kids?  This common question has no easy answer. Many people will tell you Golden Retrievers, Labrador Retrievers, or Beagles are perfect companions for kids. While this is often the case, there are  Goldens, Labs, and Beagles who simply don’t tolerate kids well.  And, despite the fearsome reputations of dogs like Staffordshire Terriers and Rottweilers, some of these dogs have been the best and most loyal friends to children.

This is not to say that breed characteristics should not inform your decision. They should, as breeds were developed over the generations by refining certain traits deemed desirable for the particular type of dog. For example, Labrador Retrievers were developed to work closely and for long hours with their hunting companions. Selectively breeding for those traits to make ideal hunting partners has translated into dogs today who are often quite patient and responsive to human direction. On the other hand, the herding breeds, such as Corgis, Australian Cattle Dogs, and Old English Sheepdogs, were developed to move livestock, often by chasing and nipping at the animals’  heels. Fast forward to today, and many herding breed dogs will nip at the heels of children in the household to “herd” the children in a particular direction.

Each dog breed has certain standards for characteristics such as height, color, and weight. Often, the standards include temperament standards. These standards can be found on the American Kennel Club (AKC) website, and can be used to give you a broad idea of the general disposition you may expect in a dog of a particular breed. For example, the breed standard for the Golden Retriever states in part that these dogs should be “friendly, reliable, and trustworthy. Quarrelsomeness or hostility towards other dogs or people in normal situations, or an unwarranted show of timidity or nervousness, is not in keeping with Golden Retriever character.”  The breed standard for German Pinschers states these dogs should have “highly developed senses, intelligence, aptitude for training, fearlessness, and endurance. [They are] alert, vigilant, deliberate and watchful of strangers. [They have] fearless courage and tenacity if threatened [and] should not show viciousness by unwarranted or unprovoked attacks.” While these are just overall temperament standards and neither one speaks to a dog necessarily unsuited to children, the Golden’s description certainly suggests a better match for your child. At the risk of sounding overly cynical, it also may not be such a bad idea to “read into” the adjectives used in the temperament descriptions.  For example, “alert” and vigilant” can mean having a dog who is highly reactive, and “watchful of strangers” means you need to work extra hard to socialize the dog or you and your child might have some difficulties getting your dog to calmly accept houseguests or visiting playmates. But enough about breed generalities, because several other factors are at least as important in choosing a dog who is likely to get along well with your children.
 
First, you need to assess your child’s personality and the personality of your prospective dog because regardless of the breed or mix, each dog has an individual personality that helps to shape how he sees the world and reacts to different people and situations. As for your child, is he or she outgoing and energetic?  A dog who’s game for joining in the fun may be a good fit. If your child is more reserved, a more mellow dog might be appropriate. Or perhaps a steady, calm dog can help pull a timid child out of his or her shell. 

So, how are you supposed to judge your prospective dog’s personality? First, consider two factors that weigh heavily in forming your dog’s personality: genetics and socialization. Genetics encompasses general breed characteristics; pedigreed dogs have ideally (not always!) been careful bred, with  desired personality traits selected for. Socialization means that, from puppyhood, your dog has had loads of positive interaction with humans of all shapes and sizes and has also been exposed to a variety of different situations. When you go to meet a potential new dog, go without your child the first time – he or she is likely to fall in love and may cloud your judgment. If the dog passes muster with you, bring along your child on a second-look visit  to see how the dog responds. You are looking for a dog that is neither shy nor fearful of your child nor aloof. For example, if you and your child sit down calmly next to the dog and give him some time to get used to you, does the dog still refuse to make eye contact with you or your child, flatten his ears and shrink from your touch?  You also do not want the dog to be overly assertive with you or your child. You are looking for soft, happy wags directed toward your child.
 
Second, the age of the prospective dog and your child are key factors in making a good match. While you might have fantasies about your child and a puppy growing up together, the puppy stage is a lot of work to add on top of your human parenting. In addition, puppies are generally more boisterous than are adult dogs and may inadvertently hurt a small child in their exuberance. The same goes in the other direction. For example, toddlers are obviously less able to regulate their behavior than are older children and, as they can be unsteady on their feet and in their movements, can frighten or even hurt dogs, especially small dogs. On the other hand, an adult dog likely has already formed opinions about children and his role vis-a-vis these little humans. Look for an adult dog who already likes children and responds to them warmly. While, if necessary, behavior can sometimes be re-shaped, it is  harder to acclimate an adult dog to new experiences than it is to teach a puppy that same confidence. If you are adopting a senior dog, you child might discover a new companion with the patience of a saint, but senior dogs, who themselves are sometimes a bit unsteady or achy, can have less patience with children than younger dogs. And finally, remember to consider your current child’s age (and the possibility of any forthcoming children).   

Third, the size of your prospective dog is an important consideration. In general, your best bet is to acquire a dog who will end up being medium or medium-large. Very small dogs often find children’s sudden movements and high-pitched voices scarily unpredictable and overwhelming. The result is that many at best avoid all small humans and at worst bark at them or bite. On the other end of the size spectrum, giant-breed dogs can inadvertently play too roughly with small children. In addition, many giant breeds have a long and quite clumsy puppy stage, again increasing the chances that your child might accidentally be hurt by your large yet uncoordinated pup.
 
No matter what breed or mix, age or size dog you get, it is essential that you teach your child how to interact with the dog. Many a dog endures what is tantamount to  torture at the hands of a  child who yanks the dog’s tail, pulls the dog’s ears, teases the dog, or just plain harasses her. It is your responsibility to teach your child how to respect and interact positively with the family dog. Instruct your child on proper and gentle methods of petting your dog, and always, always supervise play between your dog and children. If you do not take the time to teach your child and your children’s friends how to interact with your dog, not only are you are neglecting your responsibility to both your charges, but you are setting up a situation in which it is only a matter of time before your dog reaches his breaking point and lashes out.
 
Finally, remember that even though you are getting a dog who you want to get along well with your child, no matter what your child says, it is you who will end up taking care of the dog. And this is as it should be. No child is capable of handling the constant responsibility – from feeding and walking to health and wellness decisions – of taking care of a dog. The responsibility is all yours, with an assist from the child. And, of course, children have notoriously short attention spans (remember last year’s most wanted birthday gift now neglected in the corner), and children do grow up and leave the house. Unless you yourself want a dog and can give the proper attention, care and love to a canine companion, you should not get one. Instead, you can suggest that your child satisfy his or her desire for a dog in other positive ways. For example, many local shelters have programs where people can volunteer to spend time with dogs waiting for adoption.

For more information on the dog-child combination, check out these books:
Living with Kids and Dogs – Without Losing Your Mind by Colleen Pelar
Successful Dog Adoption by Sue Sternberg