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First Aid 101
Loss and Mourning| Preparing For The End |
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Our dogs are so integral to our lives that losing your dog, or the prospect of losing him or her, hurts us as much as – or sometimes more than – the loss of a family member or friend. While it is natural, and in fact healthy, to feel pain when the end is near for your dog or when your dog passes on, there are some ways to make this challenging chapter somewhat easier. Quality Not Quantity
When your dog gets ill, it is important to consider his or her qualify of life, and not let your desire for your dog to live on indefinitely interfere with your judgment. If a dog is suffering, often the most loving thing you can do is to put your dog’s needs above your own and let your dog pass before your dog has endured too much pain. This is not to suggest that you should be over-eager to euthanize your dog, but rather that you should not prolong the life of your elderly or sick dog without seriously considering the current and likely future quality of your dog’s daily life. Trust Your Vet To Help You Decide
Modern veterinary medicine allows dogs to live longer than ever before. This is a blessing, but it also makes deciding when to let go of an infirm dog more difficult. There is always another medicine to try or surgery to undergo, and, unlike with a sick person, a dog can’t tell you “I’m ready to go” or “this isn’t working.” Many owners spend the last days with a beloved pet in a panic; trying to read their dog for signals and conflicted about whether they are doing right by their dog. The best way to avoid this situation is to make sure you have a good relationship with your vet before your dog gets sick. You will have to turn to your vet for help when it’s time to let go. If you don’t like or trust your vet when your dog is healthy, you’re going to have hard time looking to the vet for guidance when the question is one of life or death. The Appointment
Once you decide that it’s time to say goodbye, you will have to make a few decisions – Do you want to be in the room when your vet administers the drugs to put your dog to sleep? Do you want to have your dog cremated, and would you like your dog’s remains? These are personal decisions. There are no right or wrong answers. It’s better to have thought about these issues in advance of your dog’s passing, rather than be forced to make them quickly through the haze of sadness. Make Everything As Peaceful As Possible
If your dog is one of the many who hates going to the vet, you may want to consider finding a vet who makes house calls to put your dog to sleep at home. Home vet services have opened throughout the country and many offer at-home euthanasia. If this is not possible, ask your vet for a sedative to give your dog at home in advance of your appointment. There is no reason for your dog to be in any unnecessary distress on this day. Also, when making your appointment, be sure the receptionist knows why you are coming into the office. Hopefully, the people in your vet’s office will make special arrangements so that you can take your time and not feel rushed to accommodate another client. Don’t Do It Alone
If possible, it’s best to bring a trusted friend or family member with you when taking your dog to the vet to be put to sleep. It’s nice to have someone there for moral support and to drive if you are too upset to do so safely. Let Yourself Be Upset
Losing a dog is extremely painful. It’s okay to be a complete wreck after a dog's passing. Dogs often occupy a most special role in people’s lives; they provide the unconditional love that family and friends might not. Mourning the loss of that love is important. You may want to temporarily avoid anyone who tells you to snap out of it or questions your level of sadness. There is nothing shameful about feeling the pain of losing your dog. Reach Out To A Specialist Or Grief Counselor
It may be comforting to seek out the help of others rather than having to go through this tough time alone. Reaching out to others dealing with a similar loss can provide much needed emotional support and validation of your feelings of grief. The Internet makes connecting with others who are facing similar losses easy with websites such as petloss.com, www.aplb.org (Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement), and www.rainbowbridge.com. If you feel you need more personalized help, it is a good idea to reach out to a professional or call one of the many grief support hotlines. Veterinary schools around the country offer these services free of charge. The lines are staffed by veterinary students who are trained in grief counseling, and they can be a wonderful resource at this very tough time. Click on any of links below for grief support hotlines:
Univesity of California, Davis Pet Loss Support Hotline To Get Another Dog or Not
After your dog has passed, you might feel that you want to go right out and get another dog. Or, you might swear that you never want another dog ever again because the loss was just too hard. Either is understandable. You have to go with what feels right for you. There are, however, two important caveats. If you go right out and get another dog, it’s best not to try to recreate your deceased dog by getting a new dog just like him or her. It’s not fair to the new dog, and it will almost always set you up for disappointment. On the other hand, don’t rob yourself of the joy of having a new dog for fear of having to endure the pain of loss again.
Content provided by Betsy Rosenfeld. To donate to Betsy's charity of choice, Infinite Love Animal Sanctuary, click here. |
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Re:Preparing For The End
Nov 27 2008 12:12:23 About three years ago, we noticed one night that our dog, Sabaka, looked like his tummy was bigger than it should be. Knowing about dangers with larger dogs like bloat, my husband rushed him to the ER vet, where we learned that Baka had developed a large, blood-filled tumor in his abdomen and it had burst. The ER vet said that because he was bleeding internally, we'd have to make a decision fairly quickly as to whether we wanted to let him go, or have surgery to remove what they could of the tumor and stop the bleeding - but that if we did go that route, Baka would have to be on chemotherapy to have any chance at surviving more than just a few weeks.
Sabaka was an amazing, loving companion, but he was also easily confused, and we knew he'd never understand what was happening to him if he had to have surgery and chemo, so we decided to let him go. Because I'm homebound, my husband had the vet give Baka a sedative to make him more comfortable and brought him home again for about an hour, so I'd be able to give him more of the treats that he loved and say farewell. I am so grateful that my husband gave me that opportunity. I was a complete wreck for weeks afterwards, and still get teary eyed when I think about him. Initially we didn't think we'd adopt a new pup for a while. Personally, I wanted to get a new one fairly soon, but my husband wasn't ready and I was NOT about to rush him. After a couple weeks, though, my husband found that the house was just too quiet and that he was ready. We welcomed Xander into our home, and even though both he and Sabaka are Lab mixes and have a fairly similar appearance, it didn't take long for Xan to find his OWN place in our hearts, without taking up any of the space we had there for Sabaka. Your guide is very good, in some ways I wish I'd been able to read it before we lost Sabaka. Thanks for posting it here - loss is generally inevitable, so I'll now have some new things to keep in mind when I have to go through it again. I'll tell you, though, even though it's painful to lose such dear companions, the joy they can bring while they're here with us is WELL worth the price it carries at the end. |
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Re:Preparing For The End
Dec 01 2008 01:19:27 Thank you for sharing about your dog Sabaka. I know exactly what you mean. Our dogs share everything with us everyday - our joy and our pain. I cannot imagine what I will do when my Henry passes.
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